You can take the UFC out of the Apex but you can't take the Apex out of the UFC

Last week Ari Emanuel's UFC took its show on the road to New Jersey

I come not to bury Ari Emanuel’s “value extraction” of the UFC, but rather to praise it.

While his product is such utter dogshit that even chudlord UFC YouTuber the MMA Guru was boiling with rage at how much he hated the main card and especially the main event.

I can’t believe I’m saying this but Guru was right about several things about this card. He was pretty amusing calling out the not one, but two fights decided by eye pokes but ruled as TKO wins for the flagrant offenders.

One of those offenders was the Spider-Slayer himself, Chris Weidman, who put on a brilliant exhibition of Krav Maga eye attacks against Bruno Silva.

Weidman was shamelessly unrepentant about it after the fight, making him even less unsympathetic than usual.

Then the neckbeard’s heartbreak at seeing his long-time favorite Vicente Luque go out weak against Joaquin Buckley was honestly kind of affecting….insofar as I enjoyed seeing him being bummed out.

But like a pig finding a truffle, the Guru smelled something fishy with the fight even if he didn’t connect the dots.